Unspeakable

...down.

2012-01-10T21:54:00.004+08:00

having a hard time when im alone in my room.
no matter how hard i try to distract myself,
facing my computer, laying down, or when just even holding my phone.
all i see is you.

I miss everything that make you, you.

short, tiny, fury, explosive, strong personality, your scent, your chubby face, the way u smile, they way you glance, the expression when you are angry, the warm u make me feel, the way u cheer me up, the way u hug me once, the way you pushing me away when i try to get close to you, and the way u kiss... everything.

if there is any mistake i do in the past. tell me.
if there is anything i can change to be better in the future. tell me.
if there is any chance u wanna talk. tell me.
if there is any chance u wanna meet up. tell me.
if there is just one more chance, to let me make it right.
tell me.

thinking the day when i ask if we should get together,
remembering how you answered.
i though i was prepared, once, for this day to come.
yet u told me its ok for me to be away, as u will be waiting for my return.
you make me hope for the very best, you did.
you make me think we can last, forever?
and then i gave up my defense, u strike.

i know there is some mistake i did. not being gentle enough, not good in understanding you, not able to cheer you when you are down, nor even get involve in what you like or even some topic you share.. and going all emotional and not open up.
throwing all my anger over you, pushing you to the edge.

why am i such a bitch,cant give up when u cut me down.
though im able to hold myself, yet, broke down when i goes blank.
have the urge to call you in the middle of the night, luckily there is still someone i can find on net to accompany. preventing me to do so...

wish i can cry out loud, and let the tear flow with the rain, bringing those memory to somewhere far away..

分..?

2012-01-08T20:51:00.009+08:00

来的太突然...虽然不是没想过，但还是来的太突然了.

虽然表面看起来没事，但要说没感觉，一定是骗人的。

不想呆在家... 一在家就想上网，就会期待她的出现。

然后慢慢就会越来越.... 最后就...

还好当晚有死党陪我熬过深夜...幸苦你们。

你的信息里写：
你已经到极限了，
你在浪费我时间，
你没想象中爱我，
我们不适合...
但你何必在我生日的前一晚说？
要让我有个难忘的20岁生日，你的礼物也太“小”了吧？

你说：
我总觉得，我没有一次对你这么好
就像你对我一样

你说：
后来我发觉，你不是那位让我值得花时间去陪你的人
你不是那位值得让我去对你特别好的人

你说：
也许有人会说，被爱好过爱人
可是我被爱，却一点也不快乐

我对你，有那么差吗...？
我就这么不值得你花时间陪、还是让你对我好的吗..？
被我爱，有这么痛苦悲伤难熬吗..？
是的话，干嘛和我在一起这么久...?

你说要分就分，连善后的机会都不给...

我愤怒？我悲伤？惋惜？想挽回对方？我不知道。感觉上都有。

在我担心成绩的同时，你突然给我这样的惊喜。
我真的不想一波未平一波又起。

no more, 谢谢您

2011-10-04T02:20:00.002+08:00

冰山，以世隔绝，玩emo，都是我这几个礼拜在做的东西.
就短短几个礼拜，我跟朋友的感情慢慢的消磨了，甚至有的从此都不说话，不留言了。
不过今天过后，我要恢复正常！！
（是时候找多多人，讲多多废话啦~外向的人不都是这样的咩？）

在此我要深深感谢我的adviser, Mis.Leong.
要不是你，我肯定没希望了
要不是你，肯定有sem6了
有sem6 = 九成不会完成我的foundation了.（由绝望造成的）
还好有你~ 不然我的FM/Acc 都还是一样等死了！

谢谢你以你重改检查官，不怕得罪上头，坚持说那题可以给我分，
帮我从那严肃的的主改官/HOD Mis.Melissa 那里争取到那一分，搞到她脸黑黑..
还让她因为*有改错*而要收surat amaran..》《!(谢啦~）
当然也要谢谢重改官：Mis.Natlini帮我重改~（听说她还帮别的学生跟melissa争取分数叻~）
（**Mis Melissa,谢谢你，如此的伟大~为了我收surat amaran~)

一分！
对，就一分。
就他妈的这一分，你(Melissa)都不给，搞到我进来，心情如此忐忑，如此绝望，再亮的天，也看不到彩色的光芒。

原来我差的一点，就真的是他妈的那么一小点...一分= =
还要是考卷上的一分.... Arrrghhhhh....Zzz

虽然是这么说，不过我还没拿到那封正式说我 appeal pass了management的信
今天去office问，跟我说有课appeal成功了，不过不只是什么，也不知appeal成功的意思..= =
本来还超高兴的，那个芯，叫我不要太高兴，等下幸灾乐祸，搞到我怕怕，明明老师都这么说了= =
我要快快拿到那封信.. 正正确确看那信上写我过了这地狱桥...!
我不想在看到management的note了...T_T（痛苦的回忆）

要快快过这个sem,努力读好书~
酱就不用待在这无聊的PJ了~~

-------------------------------------------------------------
今天第一天驾车来回学校...平安~
早上5点+起床,还以为会早，不堵车，谁知道还是一样...
5点时跟是他妈的多车= =脚都差点断掉了...
一个小时多才到家啊~~
***以后每个拜一都要酱...不知脚哪天会断掉***
回到家直接歇掉，倒在床上变猪头= =!

2011-09-21T20:06:00.003+08:00

付出，不一定有回报。

我生平第一次，如此的努力
推完朋友的约会，狂背书一个月，连电脑游戏都不玩..
还几乎全神关注那一，唯一一科...
我重未觉得我可以如此的失败.. 全部人都过，就是我不可以.
我知道，如果不过，就一定是差一点.
可是这一点...就一点...

就因为你，说可以写什么keyword,用自己的字.我的midterm就这样死了.
就因为你，一个错字就不给分，example不写不给分，让我不停地死背书.

一个sem才那13、14week. 我用了一个月读和背..
不够，还远远不够.
我认我背书天资差过人...背了酱久还没背完...
也是我的疏忽，考试前晚没啥睡觉，进考场时有少少hang gei.

一个错误，导致了更大的问题.
人人都剩两科，我却剩变成4科. 就因为你，我要读过，背过，还要多一个sem.
utar的system又他妈的鸟，尽会减少你的credit hour.
如果你真的不让我过，也请你给我多那一个小时吧？
20 变 15 ，摆明是不给你拿一科主课.

Appeal考试成绩，几率有几渺小...我是知道的.
虽然mis.leong说我差一点（到底是多少点!!?)
因为有不少写错字（错一个字就不给分）
而且换nalini从改，不过也不可能会给同情分之类的把？
如果appeal成功，主改老师就要收surat amaran.
从这点看来，我的一线希望，变成一点*希望....几乎,毫无希望.

当初还以为写信给director
可以有望加多那一个小时的credit hrs.
不过毕竟是utar,什么都是system.不可以就是不可以..
如果连appeal不过，我是否要写给president?

耻辱。我想崩溃。我想飙眼泪。
早知道，我不读你的那课，先拿别的，
或者专注别的科目，或可以早拿多一点科目，
至少死了都不用多一个sem.
早知道....如果是早知道....

除了down.我什么都做不了.
我知道我最近脸很黑，不过我真的接受不了，努力这样被抛进大海
我不想说话，因为我成绩、心情不好，朋友还要发我脾气,不说话原来是一种罪
体谅，陪伴，努力，奇迹,希望...到底是什么东西？

sick..

2010-12-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

...had abit of sore throat ytd.. thx to cheng n horng.. we went for mcd..
and den thx to cheng again.. n teng .. we went for rapunzel.. kinda gud for a disney romance.. the cinema was so cold.. been thinking y cant u be here wif me ><
and congratz.. i straight get flu n sore throat right after those.. Zzz..

while i was rolling on the bed..i felt like i had some fever..
guess u wont know i dream about u.. 3times.. though it wasnt real.. but i guess i felt ur warm.. and it make me felt much much better..^^

things dint goes as i plan.. thx to u*.. i mean the other u*... how can i survive the next sem.. with u having the exact timetable with me... if we ever get to next sem..

hope we can hv much more time alone.. and there's always someone interupting..
isshhh....Zzzz.. did get abit jealous when u took out the bear.. sum1 give me the guts of a leopard pls.. i keep held back my thought.. if things where to goes this way.. we wont be going anyway futher..

Question. r u trying to be dumb or r waiting me to move 2more steps?

yeerrrr. ==

2010-12-08T23:41:00.004+08:00

is ur step too fast or mine too slow...??
sry for hving u to make thing so clear.. (again n again ><" )
tat wad happen when u get together with a woodstick =D

the reason i stare at u wasnt to electrolyze u..
just hope tat i could memorize ur beauty..
shud jus hug u.. damn imma a coward...
u r all open.. yet i dun dare to move..

thx for ur guilding~
i finally felt ur warm n courage..
how sweet it is~^^~

time to force myself on studies!!
if i still wanna see u again..

Drops.

2010-12-07T01:28:00.003+08:00

1st tear drop for u..
sry for my naive..
sry i make us emo..

thought i was the one who had a clearer head..
but it seems like the other way round..
hope u r not fooling me.. im sinking.. again..
guess i cant help myself after all..
wads so gud about u? i dunno.. guys.. stop asking..
i dun think it does matter at all..
guess its time for more understanding..

Sry. Thx for ur word n comfort.

rabbit~

2010-12-05T03:31:00.002+08:00

贱~
shud i thx u.. u gave me advice.. gud way of saying it with the milk..
yes..im kinda 贱..sry bout tat.. but u make me feel more 贱 too

y do i care? cos i put half of my leg in tat adi...
1.5.. 1.5.. rmb??
if those 5 bulb were on for a year^^ rmb to save me out by then~

Zzz.. i dunno wad im think.. but that wasnt really my concern..
... Argghhhhhh!!!

Zzzzz

2010-12-01T21:15:00.003+08:00

Relationship between u2 is a mess...
and it cause trouble to all..
at least it make us all worried...

Wad would it be when its our turn?
How would it look like...
How would it turn out...
Will there be anyone to stand by urside by then..
Will ya overcome it and how long it may take...
Hope it doesnt get worst then this...
But i guess it will..
Hope u doesnt forget wad i told ya in the 1st place..
Sry... But i knew where this road lead to..
Sry..
...

x.x.x.x.

2010-11-29T20:15:00.004+08:00

Sry, i shudn't have say it,but i fail to hold back.
F.E.A.R is wad i had been holding back since then.
i hvnt tell u the other reason for the fear... and i doubt if i would tell..
i dun know.. seem like i nid time to adjust.. or wad.. i dunno..
lot of thinking have been flash through my mind..
feeling has been crossed over... i am happy but on the other hand i had fear..for u.
u try to explain the words.. i stopped u.. i cant bear tat respondsibility.. im still not there yet.. not now.. or mayb it jus wont happen between us..

again..im a coward.. just days has pass and it quite alot hav happen..
doubting if this choice i made was correct.. i cant imagine wad would happen when the day come where i hv to leave... u cried twice..in 4days? and i make u sad quite a few time.. gosh.. tell me..where would this lead..and how to fix this??

(mayb he's smart instead of wood,
mayb he sees where it lead to..
shoud hav learn him and said those thing..
maybe.. maybe its a better way out..)

i dunno wad happen between u gurls, hope it wasnt wad i think it is.. if it is.. it sux.. guess the wound is hard to heal.. and ther's no turning back..

懦夫

2010-11-27T17:38:00.002+08:00

Take a dare and i made the step which i wont do in the past...
afraid to be just like than, where i missed my chance.. scare if im missing too much.. wad im hoping for..
2sentance u said and it felt just like a mountain dropping down on my heart...
DOM... (sinking sound)

FEAR, is all i have now. i dunno y.. dun ask..
maybe its becos of ur expectation, maybe its becos of the respondsibility i face..
i dunno..or maybe is becos u doesnt expect anything.. and u are willing to give in all.. but i aint ready for all of that...

though we could have a happy start.. i had no idea how to face u for now..
lucky i still have days before that.. thinking.. in wad way shud i contact u..
wad would it be.. our conversation..

im a coward, dun give me too much..i cant take it.. i aint a guy who take respondsibility.. and i never do.. mayb i did.. in d pass.. but it was long gone...
its just a beginning and it hurts.. imma gonna cry.. pls. can sum1 guide me?

TQ

2010-11-17T01:10:00.002+08:00

thank you for reminding me.
thank you for preventing me from drowning deeper
thank you fro not letting me sink
thank you for the time
thank you the the play
For that, i'll try my best to remember and get over it...
thank you..

shud i..? Guide me will ya...?

2010-11-04T00:34:00.003+08:00

...its hard to focus recently..

tests are round the corner..
assignment are up to the deadline..
yet something is clouding up in my mind..

shud i move forward?
shud i let my desire be in control?
shud i be happy for wad i have now?
shud i... take challage or fear for its consequesnce, and accept the fact be it gud or bad.. and hope for the best??
or shud i just try n hide everything behind so i can try to focus on wad shud have been done for awhile..
how i wish someone would shine up the best path ahead... Someone...

....

2010-10-26T23:25:00.003+08:00

almost a year since i blog.. going to start over again since i saw sum1's blog..
Kinda lol actually.. left my FB on and i went for some drama.. came back n saw my friend post her" blog link on fb.. recall she never wanna show us when we ask for it.. click it.. OMG.. a confession.. lmao.. nvr thought tat we can confession this way... for those who are smart enuff may know who is tat.. anyway.. lucky tat i saved her blog page b4 she locked it up.. hahaha.. she wont know it anyway= =

there are quite an amount of article posted on fb recently.. good. yet it doesnt help for my stupid english assignment.. pile of assignment n test ahead us and yet we havnt start any.. and the most idiot thing is which ..my friend told me its a 6person assignment.. and end up being 5 person max.. hv to split up 3-3 .. oh well,we r screwed~ end up being group with 2indian girls. its not tat they arnt good, jsut its hard to do this assignment since its a video making.... damd..

btw.. wandering do i really hv light voice or is my word tat hard to understand? a simple question could turn into a teory ans long explaination.. wth is this? is my communication skill tat bad?

2009-11-07T23:41:00.002+08:00

i swear to god. if i ever had a chance. i will change my pack of friend.
will nvr ever have contect again. nvr!
stupid culture of sk.

MY "wonderful" Holiday

2009-08-26T01:36:00.001+08:00

Yep.Here come the study week for exam. Or just maybe a chance to quarantine ourself from Mr.Virus h1n1 and his family.Who care about the exam anyway?

Hvnt been block to get online for 3days. since i went to sg without my computer T.T
. the reason i get to sg is to clear the pile of deep shit my family got me into.

FYI,at a age of 13-16n1/2 , a singaporien or a PR of sg , have to register for exit permit if u intend to stay oversea, and get ur ass back to sg every 3month. According to thier pro law, who ever wish to stay out of the country over 2 years and so..hard to register a bond, which mean pay a fee of 75k or above, incase u ran away or watever...

so being as a PR, the smart gov nv even care to notice us about this so call new law, and just make us found out accdently month ago. and i have to make my ass down to settle this shit by seeing them at the defence force department, which u cant bring any camera or laptop in.
Thx to my smart father who make ma a PR, i have to get down, sign a dono wat black and white. and get myself fine* and recorded . even the people from department know only the dump one will register as a pr to get all this trouble sticking around urself.

..and its funny my sis bring me to the church ..which weirdly held inside a hotel ball room every sunday. once i get ther, my brilliant sister get us the 1st row sit so tat we can heard every single word clearly,loudly spoken from the stage. the 1st activities was to sing some weirdo song about god.. i doubt if every single church do the same.. and they sing it like we sing at karaoke, very urself very high.. sing it loud with full of emotion..hand held high.. almost get them self dancing around.. which luckly dint happen..

then, they share thier werid story..which one i remember blury.. about a man, which worked very tired..and had a dream about marraton..and all he do is ran the whole night in his dream..
and had sence about it which mean god sents his a msg to stop all this foolish thing he had repeating everyday..and should have follow god's footstep??

and here come the brainwash part.**i think***
the chairman, or the organiser, as a bible beliver, or wat they call bible basher.. which done church few day a week.. brainwash us very hard..with his emotion.. his fury.. his voice?
about beliver..and wat ever..took him hrs to do tat..who cares.. and though out the church all i wan to do is stand up and ran away...but for my family and my sis church friend, i didnt.

then i notice how friendly and lovely these ppl can be.. the do some so call church walk.. pray around the neighbourhood with a candle in each of thier hand.. and try to bring peace to the town. and the best part is they serve food after the church.. and they have this secret recipe like chocolate cake.... made by thier church friend. how i wish to get the recipe.

got to stop this stool blog with my baby language and tire word b4 i continue it any longer= =

Class video?

2009-08-05T22:03:00.003+08:00

a video done by our "belove" & "useful" monitor...
as well as trying rip our face off our head...
glup* anyway. it better then nothing= =

and the best part is..
PnKoo..u will nv be listed in our addmath teacher!!

Frustration POST

2009-07-21T00:33:00.007+08:00

my theme = colour of my life = my emo = my path

this is the last and only time
the only time that u hold my decision
dun u wish u have this chance again

as if u are me
as if my life is writen carved on stones
as if u can predict wat is good for me

stop adding some wtfish stuff into my life.
u are not me. no u arnt.
so do my life.
leave ur fucking life and ur fucking rules & give me back my freedom
my desicion isnt yours to make
so screw urself with ur maturity

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!
#@%$%&#%@$~%#$@Q& *$@*@%#@!

bullshit.bastard.fucker.go to hell.suck urself.

look in to the mirror of the past and u shall see
time will tells wats good for me
try stucking urself in a cell
and feel wat i feel. piece of shit!

undergoing-TREMINATOR-FUTURECELLWAR

The day...

2009-05-24T00:43:00.020+08:00

My friends though that i was scare for the exam and won't give a shot since my 1st time failing and attemp to skip sch on last friday..... if that's what u think..
the truth is... i wake up as the usual time...
but i didn't go to sch... and i wasn't at home...
maybe a better escape plan... and not to be caught by local police or the headmaster....

and guess where i gone?

To Singapore...

it had a computer wif a web cam look stuff to check temperature for ppl who pass by around the arrival hall...incase any tourish contain H1N1...

oh.. and for ur information.. making local call is free in singapore airport. wander why malaysia dun provide such service.

had spend my day around a place call braddell. place i once live.its a peaceful place.. just 3min walk from station and this is sch i use to go to.

its call kengcheng primary sch.can't get a better view other then this cos it serounded by grass wall.but it had rebuild at somewhere after i left .. and this old one is lock and i cant go in= =... so no pic for new sch..

(braddell)
and here is where i use to live(one of em). 5min from sch.consist of 25 floor and i use to live at 23 floor. sound like ghost scream when wind blows .

due to the surface area of singapore.it had not much space.therefore people normally live in hdb or apartment. only few who are really rich can stay in house like we live in malaysia. see how they are prode of theirself, which our country will nv be able to do forever.

a rubbish bin wif a poster writen (singapore little free) which is quite true..

Spended my night at a hostel at little india.its quite funny tat the lobby is across the street where u get the room. then,u have tv/dvd player in ur room.but not wif tv service= =
and this is wat is shown on the counter.

The next day, i spend my lasy afternoon at sentosa, a man made island by singapore.
there is quite some weird post ther..
Wandering how u can destory ur extra bicycles and chairs? here is some idea...

and ther is a peacock walking around ther..for no reason= =

then i when to the shoping center nearest to sentosa.
forgot its name.. but look! bao qin tian came~

its a foodcourt which is build wif unique taste like old china town wif all houses and stall made of old wood.and this is wat i order... dono wat mee..but very famous. take like big size meehun(米粉) but not tat rough.

thx to the spd of cooking /amount it gave. i almost miss my plane back to msia.
cos changi airport is north and sentosa is south... anyway.get back home without gaining H1N1. tat nothing better then this.

A Lesson

2009-04-30T13:46:00.003+08:00

today i request my friend who just got his licence recently to give me a lift. where i leave my friends behind who normally walk home with me. passingby them on a bike and reaching home a minute faster,is quite a nice feeling. Those dumd ass car stop so sudden makes my friend lost control and we both stuck between the longkang. for a min at least..

the 1st thing that flash through my thought wasn't that falling is gonna get me hurt something.. but it was just ...OMG.. there are so many ppl passing by.. and wth will they say ...
lucky enough tat the home walking friend came to save our life out of the longkang and manage to move the motor with a scratch. yet i can still smell the oil stink on my pant...

so here's a lesson or warning to u guys.

1. do not ask ur friend who just got thier licence to fetch u on thier bikes
2. avoid slippery rode if u are unexpriences on bike.
3.do not dump ur friend for advantage or u will get punish by god of loyalty^^

Plot**

2009-04-11T23:55:00.006+08:00

Is anybody still there? (by Jon)

. . . . . . . My classmates have the total unity of a group of apes forced to live together by their evil captives. Actually scratch that, my class has less untiy than that. The person sitting three spaces away from another can be totally oblivious to each other. After the 2nd year being together, some still don't know each others name.

Many even insult at every chance they get, its just so negative. I'm not saying I'm a saint, the only one there that's pure and holy, there to show the light. Au contraire, I probably started this negativity for all I know. I don't know la, I'm just so dissapointed right now. Just... no will to succeed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kpop?

2009-04-06T22:21:00.009+08:00

have been surfing around the web when i got into this dannychoo.com. Its has unfeasible amount of visiter tat every webmaster or even a blogger would like to have.......
.....2MiLlIoN ViEWeR PEr mOnTh !!( and its on CNN before O.o)

its basicly about anything about japan and all type of stuff or news .
just when i am wandering around i saw this 2 treat about kpop

Girl's Generation

just some weird song sing by some cute girl with not much talent.
quite a nice song though.(see thier live performance.they cant sing XD)

Kara

Here is 1 more..quite touching one
Haru-haru by Big Bang

and i just get the msg tat one piece anme starting song(we are) are sang by DBSK.=_=

Get to know yourself better

2009-04-02T00:10:00.007+08:00

just took a quiz from a friend, friends blog.
here is a link to it.
it look quite truth somehow.except for anything do wif love.
and here goes the result:

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust

trip-genting

2009-03-27T23:43:00.001+08:00

hvnt blog since i was sick all the time after the trip><
here is a few pic since i dun have much time take photo album as my friend do.. was playing around like a mad dog =_=
they was like super star taking photo all around until a few album was created

erm..tat me wearing white shirt 2nd from left

oh. about this..we bring bags of maggi like we'r going to have a meg"i" sale up ther

the guy counting from left 3rd is the director for the ablum taking
i wont be ther without him though^^

taking this pic with some lovely guy

the trip wasnt perfect but its better then nothing.

and thx my friend for letting me staying wif them.free^^
oh..and 1 last thing..if u at outdoor theme park(genting) and are socked in water, just go play a flying dragon +pirate ship + superman and u'll be as good as new.

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*Re-update*
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oh..and here .. a pic request by my friend(middle) to put this on.
he said it wouldn't look integrity without his face here^^

zzz i look dull cos i was ready to get some sleep?

Blunders

2009-02-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

The youth is filled with naive,
where thou ride innocence though the ever-lasting cycle.
unaware consciousness,
One does not realize what they can do to another.

When thou wear one's heart on one's sleeve,
thou afoul the fatally,
thither shaded a scar.
The pain that never subsides,
has now gone worse.

Yesterday friend become tomorrow’s foes.
So flow the day fill with betrayal and enmity.
Once one reaches the summit all that remains is one’s inevitable downfall.
All has become lost…
The innumerable wounds once decorations of giggle, has begun instead to ache…

An empty hole in the chest,
seeking out the antidote for the puzzle.
Followthrough which no one cares,
maybe, yet maybe not.
Swamping up the same footstep,
just as bad as before.

So…thou are all alone.
Just deserts for the likes of thou…
betrayed by the very one is whom thou trusted…
Gone are the friends with whom thou shared dreams…
Alone, with no lover to share sorrows…

The day before valentine X.X

2009-02-13T13:23:00.007+08:00

yeah..u know...
i should really blog about this...
something happen rarely in life..

it was like weeks ago when me and my friend...go minum teh...
yeah..i wrote it below b4....just back then we plan to do something big...
real big....and yes~ its valentine~~

we plan to..(and we did).. buy some boxes of..wat u call.":ferrrero rocher...
repack it into small tiny pack to give to the whole "daisi" girls who was single....
~it was suppost to be**
yeah..and ther was suppost to be pic on that...but duel to the stupid bluetooth of mine..
the pic cant be load into the comp..have to wait my friend to get me some of that..

continue...and we spread it around...to all the single lady... wroten on top was happy valentine~~
yeah/// and guess wat...it was like..from: the lemons~
---------------------------------------------------------------
explaination:lemons
-a group of ppl which are single
---------------------------------------------------------------
for no reason my friend have decided to cr8 this group which are pretty nice somehow..

i like to make it mysterious... giving ppl gueesing who are these lemons are..
its like "hey, who are these lemon? thx them for this~its pretty sweet"
and yet my friends say it is a good chance for u to keep in touch wif ppl around u..
or wat u call "kao lui"...
and tat y i am blogging about it here ^^

yeah...on the other hand..me and my friend had plan to exchange present..
and this is where the stress, emotion,frustration.. add on after being chase by those nuts asking whole lot of crap about the lemon..somehow make me wanna punch them in face...

then was like making me feel tat it was a waste of brain cell and time as i use my time and brain to think wat to give and yet in return i get some...
ya..u know..== ..not quite feel to talk about it..

i still had to waste the brain cell and time of my friend to help me think and advise...and somemore the packaging..ya..have to repay him somehow..
quite sorry for him... haha
yep...and i will start and try to speak english from now on...due to the influence of my monitor..
Mr. Jonathan Michaelangelo!!~~
yeah..a awfully long name right?
for no reason he add the Michaelangelo weeks ago..
thinking he might be the best-documented artist of the 16th century....
(here is a link to his blog -> http://nobullshitorcrap.blogdrive.com/ )

and hell yeah..u are now getting tired reading ....
..so am i for writing this whole "What The Fish" day...
off to get some ress since i have tuition later..

Friends

2009-02-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

What is Friend??

A bond which connect people together?
Something to Hurt? Betray or abandon?
To be laught, criticize and ignore?
Or something that ease your lonely hours?
Some says that friend is support to be trust, to share one joy,sorrow and dreams.
Together, is loyalty, trust nor faith involve?

Is it needed as a back up when you are in crisis and as a booster to push you forward when you are fatigue?
After all, is it just a requirement in a journey of life?

Wrong...slowly..

2009-02-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

its just after new year when i sence that something is going on.. wrong...
there was me..in school..where familiar face are all around...
listening wisper all around..which creating the undesire sound that we heard at "pasar malam"
standing alone..where no one notice my present...
wandering who i use to hang out with...spending my time and tide together..
seeing my friends ignore by the crowd after a tiny affray with a girl...which are quite helpless...
similar to my situation..a few weeks ago..

as the bell rang, most of the people are back to where they shell spend thier day...
where most of my coaxiality friend are sticking together..again..ignoring my apperence..
leaving me hardly to chat with a bunch of girl...
feeling that i am becoming spechless and still, its hard to find a way to talk.

What the Hell is Going on??
I tat wat adolescence should been through?
being leftout and share the world that no one understand?

CHINESE NEW YEAR~~!!!!

2009-01-29T14:53:00.000+08:00

hvnt been bloging for a while since i forgot the id for this blogspot(yeah...stop this crap)
and yeah.~ its chinese new year~~!!!!

the new year start with a dull boring day which i go back to my kampung and only get like..1/3 angpou..(yeah..tats alot)and many of them were out..so its wasn't fun at all...

on my 2nd day..it was more suck tat almost all of my friend arnt around and i get scold by my sis after lunch make the day wth..i wanna play for awhile and she say my holiday only start after the stupid spm...making me slam my door and pump the music out loud...

yeah...this is the 3rd day..where all the joy & sorror things happen.
i went to lun house wif a couple of friend..and own them at wager...lolx..look normal..and the host sis was ther ..of course..she was owned too..
by night we went to mamak..split out our secret..share feeling..yeah..like a real friend would do tat..(yet its kinda cool..like a bunch of old man in those japan series..drinking tea..having a good time chat..)....and yet they dun feel tat they had enuff..and came over my house to get more...

by the time they left...here come sorror...when i lose about 60 to my dad ....in wager
..omg...he was like godlike and killed any who block his way.. oh well..he did return 40 to me inthe end of the game..pity me X.X

Ohhh~~yeah..we are working on something big...massive...i think...hope it work out well..since its ...u know..

......1hrs ya~

2009-01-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

While i was surfing web recently, i saw a band call Offspring,it's awesome. At 1st i was just listening to 1of their song name "staring at the sun".. found it quite nice..and followed by "the kids arn't alright"..lol..u should see the youtube video..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4-aUiddpUo...when it reach 0.26sec is just hahah.. then "why dont u go get a job" , "you're gonna go far, kid" and pretty fly(for a white guy) ...these are quite a nice song when u feel like screaming toward ur comp and pump ur music loud..
And in 1hrs..i mean tomorrow...i had to step back the sch..not like i have to say in ther long time..cos im gonna graduate in 1year or 10month...but just back to sch..mean no computer..no entertainment..no games..more homework..more tuition.a.and blah blah blah..and spm..
My parent are gonna take away my belove comp since they say i was facing it the whole holiday and wan me to pay more attention at education..if tat is wat u call. lolx..it time for my comp to hibernate..

blogging?Happy New year 2009~~

2009-01-01T07:05:00.000+08:00

Yeah~~in no time, we had reach 2009. And since its a new year, i had made some new resolution, and 1 of it is to write blog^^
...since this my 1st time..it meight look sux or maybe event look just a web tat contain all my frustrated idea or just any poor english since my english is kind of Zzzzz......
in cast it doesnt look good...try not to throw a rotten egg or vegetables toward this blog cause its gonna hurt the pc u facing...=_=" though..prase me sometime...it will keep me going...
..even cars need fuel to run.......right?
just try not to give me some dilute fuel trying to stop me...Cos I wont~!!!

yep....and in about 15hrs..i am going back to sch again..lol..that's wat we get when a brand new year comes..more pressure!! more work......and there goes the holiday~~